I’m not a crier. That’s a pretty bold statement for an INFJ, but a true one. More fun (but unrelated) facts: I can’t whistle, and I’m rubbish at bowling. Last fall, I got mild frostbite on my fingers from playing soccer in negative degree weather. (I know, what was I thinking?) This experience caused me more pain than I can ever remember, and it took a month for my fingers to heal. But we did win that championship soccer game, so we earned inflated egos and t-shirts! The things I will sacrifice for a free t-shirt are pretty extreme, so I regret nothing. Usually, I can handle pain without much complaint (besides paper cuts–those just hurt.) That first night with frostbite I fought back tears from the pain for the first time in years. None fell, but almost. A lifetime of sports and being a klutz prepares you for physical pain.
While I handle physical pain like a champ, emotional pain gets me every time–see, I’m an INFJ after all. You were worried, weren’t you? So, maybe I lied a bit in the beginning. I do cry on occasion, but almost always because other people cry first. Like many INFJs, I suffer from sympathetic crying disease. It’s fatal. I might die someday. Surely you’ve heard of it. Burton Guster (Gus) from Psych also suffers from the same deadly condition. How do I handle this? Well, like a coward, mostly by avoiding sad things. No Titanic for me and none of my friends will ever convince me to read or watch The Fault in Our Stars. I also avoid the news, apart from life-changing events or politics. Funny thing, most INFJs feel the same because we tend to feel more deeply than others. Some people call INFJs empaths, whereas others refer to us INFJs as Highly Sensitive Persons (HSP). I consider myself more of an HSP than an empath. You can be both, but being one doesn’t automatically make you the other. Here is a list of the main characteristics of each:
Empaths: Absorb emotions, often can tell when others are lying, feel overwhelmed by too many people and public places, feel constrained by rules or boundaries, abhor falesities and fake emotion, make up two-three percent of world.
HSPs: React negatively to excessive noises and distractions, morally connected, struggle with criticism, struggle with making decisions, more emotionally reactive than others, often battle depression, make up twenty percent of world.
Both empaths and HSPs: both experience physical reactions, such as stress headaches, backaches, and digestive problems; both react negatively to violent or sad TV shows, movies, books, stories, and so forth; both tend to feel emotion more deeply than others; both often possess strong creative drives; and both are excellent listeners, which causes many people to unload their problems on them.
Okay, so now you have a better grasp of these common INFJ-related terms. I am sensitive to other people’s emotions and noises, so I might just consider a noisy, emotional person the bane of my existence. These two sensitivities then make me feel exhausted often and also may give me stress headaches. So, if you’re an INFJ, stay aware of these terms. Think on your own behavior and adjust accordingly. For example, I study in quiet places and avoid controllable emotional situations, like reading or watching sad books and movies. Sometimes, you cannot avoid it. People tend to seek us INFJs out for comfort and advice because we can empathize. Embrace it. You’re awesome because you’re in a great position to help others; but stay aware of your limitations and take a break every once in a while. Even Superman needs time to recharge.
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