I know only one other INFJ. I just found out last week actually, even though I met her five years ago. Surprised? You shouldn’t be, and virtual high-five to those of you that aren’t. After all, not only are we INFJs the rarest type, we tend to hide rather easily. This of course reminds me of Harry Potter’s invisibility cloak. (I’m a bit of a Harry Potter fan. Okay, psh, I’ll own it: I love Harry Potter, hence the invisibility cloak analogy.)
Anyways, we INFJs always wear this fashionable acessory, but, unlike Harry, in the sense that we disguise our personalities, not our bodies. Here comes a scary truth, so prepare yourself: half the time, we INFJs don’t even know ourselves. This proves especially true before the “I’m an INFJ and I’m super awesome and special” revelation.
Now you’re probably thinking, “Who is this chick? She don’t even know me. She don’t know my life.” Yes, true, I don’t know you specifically, and I thought the same whenI first learned about this idea. But consider this question: How often do you change personalities depending on those around you? In a given day, I would wager several times.
Experts often call us INFJs chameleons, simply because we blend in on cue. Surrounded by outgoing, extroverted people? Now an extrovert. Surrounded by emotionally unstable people? Good luck. You might need some tissues. Surrounded by intellectual, hard-core thinkers with the emotional range of a teaspoon? Wave goodbye to your F(feeler) tendency for a few hours.
I’m intimately familiar with this concept, and once you recognize this idea, your social interactions change. This reminds me of how our eyes automatically ignore our noses, but the moment we realize we can see our nose, we can’t unsee it. This gets real old real fast, but eventually you accept it and it becomes the norm. (Woops! Youprobably re-noticed your nose after reading this. Sorry!) So, you may ask, should I consider this phenomenon bad? Not necessarily, but it does matter. Sometimes we lose sight of our own personalities because we try to blend in with those around us. Yet, the chameleon effect also makes us INFJs more aware of those around us and helps us make friends easily. So, moral of the story: stay aware of your INFJ nose and don’t lose yourself in your efforts to understand and spend time with other people.
3 Steps to Staying Aware of the INFJ Nose:
Avoid emotional vampires. Like Dracula, people may latch onto us INFJs and figuratively drain the life from us. Stay away from these people who depend on us for emotional support. Of course we should help those around us, but watch out for those people who constantly take without giving back.
Find strong, independent friends. We INFJs do not need to search the galaxies to create strong relationships. We can succeed in most relationships regardless if the persons are INFJs or not. Just stay involved, and you will eventually come across good and emotionally stable individuals who share simliar interests. My three best friends are an ISFP, an ESFP, and an INFP. Notice none of them are an INFJ (although they all contain similar key elements, like introvert or feeler).
Stay confident and true to yourself. I know that statement sounds a bit cliché, but it applies. Often we get so nervous that no one will understand us that we shut ourselves away from others or choose to blend in. From experience, here’s my advice in these situations: Stop it. Seriously, just stop it. Don’t doubt yourself or those around you. Open up to those around you, and don’t hold back. How others react to the true you might just pleasantly surprise you.
Picture courtesy of modernet.com